This year for Mother’s Day, use data to figure out how much you owe your mother for her pregnancy and labor.
It turns out I owe mine $99.28*. I got some good discounts for my low birth weight and my early arrival. I also got a decent “good offspring” discount for calling her this morning to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, so that was positive.
Of course, one could quibble that perhaps a mother should not be charging her child for a pregnancy that the child did not have a say in….though the idea of issuing a bill to my own child in 12 weeks or so when he shows up is tempting. For now though, I think I’ll pass the bill off to my Dad and see if he’d like to chip in. I’m pretty sure the Edible Arrangement I sent her should cover my half.
Good luck with the rest Dad.
Love you Mom!
*I am not even going to try to criticize this number. There is absolutely no explanation for any of the numbers or why they vary the way they do. This is actually somewhat refreshing to me. Normally you have overly precise numbers being justified by vague guesses. Here they don’t even pretend to have reasons. I like the tacit admission of complete BS.