5 Things About the Perfect Age

When people ask me to explain why I got degrees in both family therapy and statistics, my go to answer is generally that “I like to think about how numbers make people feel.” Given this, I was extremely interested to see this article in the Wall Street Journal this weekend, about researchers who are trying to figure out what people consider the “perfect” age.

I love this article because it’s the intersection of so many things I could talk about for hours: perception, biases, numbers, self-reporting, human development, and a heavy dose of self-reflection to boot.

While the researchers haven’t found any one perfect age, they do have a lot of thought provoking commentary:

  1. The perfect age depends on your definition of perfect Some people pick the year they had the most opportunities, some the year they had the most friends, some the years they had the most time, others the year they were the happiest, and other the years they had a lot to reflect on. Unsurprisingly, different definitions lead to different results.
  2. Time makes a difference Unsurprisingly, young people (college students) tend to say if they could freeze themselves at one age, it would be sometime in their 20s. Older people on the other hand name older ages….50 seems pretty popular. This makes sense as I suspect most people who have kids would pick to freeze themselves at a point where those kids were around
  3. Anxiety is concentrated to a few decades One of the more interesting findings was that worry and anxiety were actually most present between 20 and 50.  After 50, well-being actually climbed until age 70 or so. The thought is that generally that’s when the kids leave home and people start to have more time on their hands, but before the brunt of major health problems hits.
  4. Fun is also concentrated at the beginning and end of the curve Apparently people in the 65 to 74 age range report having the most fun of any age range, with 35 to 54 year olds having the least. It’s interesting that we often think of young people as having the “fun” advantage due to youth and beauty, but apparently the “confusion about life” piece plays a big part in limiting how fun those ages feel. Sounds about right.
  5. How stressed you are in one decade might dictate how happy you are in the next one This is just me editorializing, but all of this research really makes me wonder how our stress in one decade impacts the other decades. For example, many parents find the years of raising small children rather stressful and draining, but that investment may pay off later when their kids are grown. Similar things are true of work and other “life building” activities. Conversely, current studies show that men in their 20s who aren’t working report more happiness than those in their cohort who are working….but one suspects by age 40 that trend may have reversed. You never know what life will throw at you, but even the best planned lives don’t get their highs without some work.

Of course after thinking about all this, I had to wonder what my perfect age would be. I honestly couldn’t come up with a good answer to this at the moment, especially based on what I was reading. 50 seems pretty promising, but of course there’s a lot of variation possible between now and then. Regardless, a good example of quickly shifting opinions, and how a little perspective tweak can make a difference.

3 thoughts on “5 Things About the Perfect Age

  1. I mistrust my memories. I recall Peter Stone at CCHS asking me if “these really are the best years of our lives.” I had already decided before that we have our best memories from our teenage years, but they aren’t that easy to go through. He saw the distinction. This applies throughout the rest of the years. I can identify wonderful things from 34-38 and 46-51, but were they my best years? 41 was the worst, I know that.

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  2. I can’t say I could choose a best year. I might say, come back and ask me next year. All in all I’ve had a pretty good life that was pretty even keel. Even those events that could be considered major did not make the entire year particularly terrible or great. I think I could say the best period of my life was from about age 5 to age 10, because I was generally clueless (and I don’t remember much before age 5), therefore it was the least stressful. That must mean I see good year/ bad year based on how much stress I associate with it.

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